No sex please, we’re the state LNP


David Crisafulli, the new leader of the Opposition, has laid down the law to his 34-member party room: no bonking.

That's right, Crisafulli has introduced a strict pants-on policy for Liberal National MPs when they're fraternising with each other, as well as the hired help.

It reminds, of course, of former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull's very own bonk ban, which was introduced when Barnaby Joyce's after-hours antics finally caught up with him, and of more recent revelations concerning federal Attorney-General Christian Porter and Cities Minister Alan Tudge.




New LNP leader David Crisafulli with shadow cabinet members at Parliament House
New LNP leader David Crisafulli with shadow cabinet members at Parliament House


George Street spies have told how Crisafulli shirt-fronted MPs at their party room meeting on Monday about the issue, and in a tone not unlike that of a school headmaster, warned them in no uncertain terms to keep their hands off each other.

The Crisafulli decree has certainly piqued our curiosity, given we haven't heard anything lately about such canoodling occurring within the LNP party room, which is dominated by mostly older gents.

Can't say the same for the Labor side. Although there's always false rumours.

Some have suggested it's part of a new ethics drive by Crisafulli after he appointed State Parliament's longest-serving MP, Fiona Simpson, a well-known stickler for rules, to a new integrity watchdog portfolio.

Yet at least some MPs saw the funny side of Crisafulli's bonk ban as they bedded down for the week at the Parliament precinct, even though they were somewhat perplexed about why it was a priority.

"I guess if Barnaby can get himself in strife, then anyone can," one observed.

Originally published as No sex please, we're the state LNP